Monday, February 22, 2016

The Dragon's Pearl

The Dragon's Pearl (Growing up among China's elite) by Sirin Phathanothai
Thanks to Pam who kindly lent me her precious book. 
A true story about two Thai children growing up in China from 1950s to 1970s.   8-year-old Sirin and 12-year-old Wai, children of a prominent Thai politician, were sent by their father and Thailand's Prime Minister Pibul to be brought up in Beijing under the direct auspices of Premier Zhou Enlai as his wards.   The children’s father believed in the potential of China and hoped the mission will help establish ties with China which was then pretty much a closed country with few foreign ties.  It was also a secret mission as Thailand was courting both United States and China at the same time.
The book offers a rare glimpse into the private lives of Mao Zedong, Zhou and Liao Chengzhi.  Zhou welcomed the idea as he believed the children will learn the way of the Chinese and in future served as important political bridges between China and Thailand. 
Sirin and Wai who used to live in luxuries and privileges in Thailand, found themselves living in hardship especially during the Cultural Revolution.  Wai was expelled from China and Sirin was forced to denounce her father.  After the Revolution, the siblings did move on to serve both countries well when China opened up to the world. 
This book also offers a glimpse into private lives of politician.  How politician remains loyal to his cause despite repeated jail sentences. How elderly politician met foreign delegates at 2am and remained energetic and alert.  

The story was well written, easy to read and captivating too. After reading the book, I truly adore Zhou - the far sighted, highly spirited and caring leader!  

Monday, September 28, 2015

The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader by John C Maxwell

1. Character

2. Charisma
Concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are making them feel good about you.
a. Love life
b. Put a "10" on every person's head
c. Give people hope
d. Share yourself
Roadblocks to charisma:
a. Pride
b. Insecurity
c. Moodiness
d. Perfectionism
e. Cynicism

3. Commitment
Can be displayed in a full range of matters to include the work hours you choose to maintain, how you work to improve your abilities, or what you do for your fellow workers at personal sacrifice.

4. Communication
a. Simplify your message - be clear
b. See the person - know your audience
c. Show the truth - live what you say
d. Seek a response - give the audience something to feel, something to remember and something to do.

5. Competence
a. Show up everyday. Not in body only but come ready to play everyday - no matter how they feel, what kind of circumstances they face, or how difficult they expect the game to be.
b. Keep improving
c. Follow through sign excellence
d. Accomplish more than expected
e. Inspire others

6. Courage
a. Courage begins with an inward battle. Courage isn't an absence of fear. It's doing what you are afraid to do. It's having the power to let go of the familiar and forge ahead into new territory.
b. Courage is making things right, not just smoothing them over. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
c. Courage in a leader inspires commitment from followers. Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are stiffened.
You must do the things you think you cannot do.

7. Discernment/intuition. The ability to find the root of the matter.

8. Focus.
If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.
a. Focus 70% on strengths. Focus on your strengths and develop them
b. Focus 25% on new things. Growth equals change. If you want to get better, you have to keep changing and improving.
c. Focus 5% on areas of weakness. Delegate
Have you been majoring in minor things?
Experienced animal trainers take a stool with them when they step into a cage with a lion. Why a stool? It tames a lion better than anything - except maybe a tranquilizer gun. When the trainer holds the stool with the legs extended toward the lion's face, the animal tries to focus on all four legs at once. And that paralyzed him. Divided focus always works against you.

9. Generosity
Your candle loses nothing when it lights another.
a. Be grateful for whatever you have. It's hard for a person to be generous when he is not satisfied with what he has. Generosity rises out of contentment and that doesn't come with acquiring more. If you are not content with little, you won't be content with a lot. And if you are not generous with little, you won't suddenly change if you become wealthy.
b. Put people first. The measure of a leader is not the number of people who serve him but the number of people he serves.
c. Regard money as a resource. Money is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. If it gets on top and you get under it, you will become its slave

10. Initiative
Leaders always look for opportunities and be ready to take action.
a. They know what they want. That's the only way you will recognize opportunity when it comes.
b. The push themselves to act
c. They take more risks.
d. They make more mistakes. The way to succeed is to double your failure rate.

11. Listening
Two purposes for listening: to connect with people and to learn. If you are in the habit of listening only to the facts and not the person who expresses them, change your focus - and really listen. Listen to the whispers and you won't have to hear the screams. Larry King says "I remind myself every morning: nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening. Do more than just grab onto facts. Listen not only for words, but also for feelings, meanings and undercurrents. The next time you meet with people (an employee or a customer), discipline yourself to ask four or five questions about him as a person. Get to know who he is, and seek common ground to build your connection with him.

12. Passion
Law of explosive growth "to add growth, lead followers, to multiply, lead leaders"
He breathes, sleeps and lives it.
a. Passion is the first step to achievement
b. Passion increases willpower. It is fuel for the will.
c. Passion changes you
d. Passion makes the impossible possible

13. Positive attitude
If you believe you can, you can.
a. Your attitude is a choice.
b. Your attitude determines your actions
c. Your people are a mirror of your attitude. Who you are is who you attract. Law of magnetism
d. Maintaining a good attitude is easier than regaining one
e. Feed yourself the "right" food




14. Problem solving
What separates winners from whiners.
Handle problems one thing at a time.
Method to solve problem - teach. Time : spend time to discover the real issue. Exposure: find out what others have done. Assistance: have your team study all angles. Creativity : brainstorm multiple solutions. Hit it: implement the best solution.

15. Relationships

16. Responsibility
They get the job done.
They are willing to go the extra mile.
They are driven by excellence.
They produce regardless of the situation.

17. Security
You don't follow the crowd; you make up your own mind.

18. Self discipline

19. Servanthood
When you think of servanthood, do you envision it as an activity performed by relatively low skilled people at the bottom of the positional totem pole? If u do, you have a wrong impression. Servanthood is not about position or skill. It's about attitude.

20. Teachability
Leaders face the danger of contentment with the status quo. After all, if a leader already possesses influence and has achieved a level of respect, why should he keep growing?
a. Cure your destination disease - as long as you're green, you're growing. As soon as you're ripe, you start to rot.
b. Overcome your success
Effective leaders know that what got them there doesn't keep them there. If what you did yesterday still looks big to you, you haven't done much today.
c. Trade in your pride
Teachability requires us to admit we don't know everything, and that can make us look bad. In addition, if we keep learning, we must also keep making mistakes. The greatest mistake one can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. For everything you gain, you lose something. To gain growth, give up your pride.
d. Never pay twice for the same mistake - he who makes no mistakes, makes no progreS. But the leader who keeps making the same mistakes also makes no progress. As a teachable leader, you will make mistakes. Forget them but always remember what they taught you.
Observe how you react to mistakes. If you react badly or you make no mistakes at all - you need to work on your Teachability

21. Vision

Sunday, January 18, 2015

The Revolutionary King by William Stevenson

The Revolutionary King by William Stevenson (published in 1999)

My prelude: Special thanks to Sirichai who lent me the book many years ago. I only found time to read it now. I’m glad I did it albeit late but it’s better late than never.  My first close contact with Thailand and its people took place in 1997 when I was sent to work in Bangkok for two weeks a month over a six-month period. My contact with Thailand was renewed in 2003 when I was closely involved in Bangkok’s business operation as part of my job in Hong Kong.  Throughout these years, I’m awed by how Thai people adore dearly their King Bhumibol and see him as God-like.  I was amused on my first visit to the local cinema – the Royal Anthem is played prior the start of the movie and everybody is expected to stand out of respect for the King.  To me, the King is just a human being whose pictures are seen everywhere and often carry a blank facial expression. I heard he is a great engineer and has initiated many agricultural projects which vastly improved the lives of Thai people. But that much I know. My impression is totally changed after reading the book, I am won over.  You may watch a brief 45 minutes documentary by History Channel “The People’s King” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Khl3YMfwn0w but nothing beats reading the book which offers rare insights and untold secrets.   I’m grateful for the wonderful friendship of numerous friends and colleagues in Thailand. Once again, thanks Sirichai for introducing the book.

King Bhumibol, Rama the 9th, the World’s longest reigning monarch, is truly a great king and Father of the Thai Nation. If not for a strong sense of duty instilled by the King’s father (Prince Mahidol) and the wisdom and enormous courage of Bhumibol’s grandmother and mother, his uncle Rangsit, his Elder Brother Ananda and of course Bhumibol in 1930s and 1940s, Thailand could have become part of Britain or Japan, or the Chinese in Thailand could have been severely persecuted.

In December 1932, a revolution overthrew absolute monarchy in Thailand. However, Rama the 7th remained as a puppet king to prevent a mass uprising as the revolutionaries knew that most Siamese feared living without a king.   Meanwhile, the British government and Nazi Germany were constantly trying to win over the 7th Rama.  Nazi Germany told him stern measures were required to solve the economic woes caused by international Jewry, thinking this would appeal to a monarch whose predecessor had written “The Chinese are the Jews of the East”.    Fortunately, the 7th Rama was repelled by Nazism. Finally in 1935, Rama the 7th moved to England and abdicated.

Britain, in its plan to run Siam through a king of its own choosing without the bother of administering a colony, then pushed its own candidate – Prince Chula Chakrabongse.   Prince Chula’s father (another son of King Chulalongkorn) was in line to succeed the 5th Rama until he married a Russian who gave birth to Chula. Chula made matters worse by marrying an Englishwoman. Siamese Kings were forbidden to have foreign wives.  

On the other hand, Pibul who led the revolution, now controlled the country.  He was influenced by the ideology of Hitler and dreamed of restoring Greater Siam where neighbouring Cambodia, Laos, Burma, parts of Southern China used to pay tributes to Siam.  The Japanese promised to help but secretly meant to turn the territories into Tokyo’s tributaries, not Bangkok’s.   Pibul also wanted Siam to play a part in the German-Japanese pact against communism.

Galyani (Bhumibol’s elder sister), Ananda (elder brother) and Bhumibol were born and bred in the west (United States, Switzerland).  Their father, Prince Mahidol (another son of King Chulalongkorn) and their mother (an orphaned commoner) were working and living in United States in 1910s and 1920s.  Prince Mahidol did not want the crown but was suddenly Heir Presumptive - the 6th Rama died without a heir and the kingship went to a brother who had neither sons or daughters. Prince Mahidol moved the family back to Siam but he died shortly when Bhumibol was only 2 year-old. After the 1932 revolution, Bhumibol’s mother decided to move her children to Lausanne, Switzerland for education and also to escape the royal hierarchies. However, shortly after the 7th Rama’s abdication in 1935, Pibul’s regime requested 9 year-old Ananda to become King as it needed a boy king whose strings they could pull.  The request was turned down initially but Ananda finally accepted – he was reminded of his father’s teachings: that Siamese lucky enough to study abroad had an absolute duty to go back and make the best of what they had learned.   Ananda’s uncle, Prince Rangsit acted as the family guardian, reasoned that so long as Ananda existed as king, the Japanese would be cautious, whereas his mother was reminded that the people will feel lost and unprotected without a godhead and thought it will help the country. With someone else, there might be trouble.   Fortunately, at the mother’s request, the young King Ananda and his siblings were allowed to stay in Lausanne to complete their studies.

During those times in 1940s, Japan stepped up its presence in Siam, Japan waged wars in Asia and Nazi Germany in Europe.  The Japanese were building up their strength in Siam to prepare for the most ambitious stage in their military adventures – the advance to meet Nazi Germany’s forces in the Middle East. This required building the infamous Death Railway from Bangkok into Burma so that troops could be transported overland, rather than be exposed to Allied submarines.  Meanwhile, the Allied agents in Siam were operating actively in secret. Japan lost the war, Pibul lost favour among the people and a British’s agent, Pridi was appointed as prime minister.

The yet to be crowned 20 year-old King Ananda was summoned to return to Bangkok.  His mother agreed to let Ananda made a brief trip with the intention to leave again.  Unfortunately, King Ananda was murdered before he could leave.  In 1946, 18-year-old Bhumibol took over the kingship in fulfilment of his royal duty.   The Coronation took place on 5th May 1950 when Bhumibol was 23.    

Bhumibol, like Ananda, was a western school boy, flung back in time to a feudal court.  He chose to wear a blank expression so that people will read into his face whatever they want.   The royal palace (just like dynasties in ancient China) is rife with gossips, jealousies and conspiracies.   After the end of absolute monarchy in 1932, prime minister, police general, military etc. flex muscles and fight for supremacy under the new system of democracy.  The need to balance between the great external powers (like Britain, America, Japan etc.) adds to the challenges, not to mention the uprising communism insurgents.  To buy time, he settled upon silence rather than the role of a stammering fool (adopted by Emperor Claudius), with the purpose of concealing his growing wisdom

Not willing to be a salaried ornament, King Bhumibol vowed to make kingship to serve the people but how was he to do this without becoming a slave to superstition?     The King is saddled with elaborate superstitious ceremonies/processions/rituals – both private and public – the latter is necessary to maintain the respect of the masses which have an innate love and respect for all forms of royal pageantry.   The king also felt pushed into playing a god considering he is in a land of gods and demons.  For example, to save the rice crops, perhaps a king would wave a long-handled fan toward the sea to summon flood-demons to drain the waters. The imagery, thought the King, would make country folk more receptive to the construction of dams and reservoirs.    I thought that is very wise of the King!   The King also believed, to modernise Siam, he was obliged to use its old beliefs.

Turbulence continued in 1950s through 1970s, the King, his wife Queen Sirikit and King’s mother, worked hard to protect and serve the nation.   Many royal projects were initiated to relieve poverty and improve lives of country folks as the King believed it was the way to disarm the communists.    While the King worked hard to get agricultural technical assistance and equipment from Japanese and US, he was firm as he told US President Johnson a line had to be drawn between US aid and US control. In 1960, the King made his first overseas state visit with the Queen to US and Europe.  In that trip, the Jazzy King wooed the Americans when he played spontaneously with the world renowned jazz musician Benny Goodman and his orchestra.   Apart from an accomplished Jazz musician and composer, the King is also an artist and was once a monk.  In 1956, the King shaved his head to the scalp and put on the single rust-coloured robe of poverty following the footsteps of his great grandfather King Mongkut.  

While the King and Queen worked tirelessly for the people, it was a struggle bringing up the royal children who grew up in strange isolation. Eldest daughter, Princess Ubol was stifled, felt suffocated, finally married a young American and renounced all her titles and privileges.   Only son, Crown Prince Vajiralongkorn showed an imperious sense of destiny.  When he was young, he defied a reprimand from a courtier by saying “Don’t talk like that to your future king!”.  He was a bit of a Don Juan - women find him interesting and he finds women even more interesting.  Second daughter, Princess Sirindhorn was their greatest consolation.  Princess Sirindhorn who made it known she would never marry, passionately continued the royal projects of his parents and grandparents. She also learned the Chinese language, wrote children’s stories and drew witty cartoons.  


Happy Birthday to King Bhumibol!  The King just celebrated his 87th birthday on 5th December 2014 and has been king for over six decades now.  He is truly a great man, a great People’s King who has outlasted numerous constitutions, prime ministers, military coups , political crises, turmoils and uprising  which continued in 1980s to present.  I wish King Bhumibol good health and wish Thailand could soon set aside its political differences so as to remain a free, happy and prosperous country.  

Monday, May 19, 2014

And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini


And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini is one of the recommended books for SHKP‘s Book Review Competition http://www.shkp.com/Pages/press-release-detail/2103.  For several reasons (to encourage Sam in his reading and writing, to encourage myself to read the book earlier, to practise my writing etc.), I decided to participate in the Competition.  Here’s my entry of the Book Review in A Letter to My Family:
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Dearest Mum, Dad, Dajie, Erjie, Dage, Erge, Sange, brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, Hubby, last but not least my adorable nephew and nieces,

I hope this letter finds you well and I give thanks for the gift of your ever-loving presence in my life.  
Recently, I read a novel titled And the Mountains Echoed written by Khaled Hosseini and I would like to share my thoughts with you.  The author, Hosseini was born in Kabul and now lives in the US.  Like many readers, I cannot help but compare Hosseini’s third novel with his first two.  Unlike the first two which have simpler plots (mainly about two men in The Kite Runner, two women in A Thousand Splendid Suns), And the Mountains Echoed is like a collection of inter-connected short stories.  Among the many stories, there are
·   Abdullah and his sister Pari who was given away when she was 3 year-old;  
·   Parwana (Abdullah’s stepmother) and her twin sister Masooma;
·   Nabi (Parwana’s brother) and his wealthy employer Wahdati who was secretly in love with him;  
·   Pari and her adopted mother Nila who was Wahdati’s wife;  
·   Pari and Abdullah’s daughter, also named Pari; and
·   Markos (a Greek plastic surgeon and Afghanistan’s aid worker who stayed in Nabi’s house which was bequeathed by Wahdati), his mother and his friend Thalia.   
And the Mountains Echoed takes readers across the world, firstly, of course from Afghanistan to San Francisco in US, Paris in France and Tinos islands in Greek.  

I remain an ardent fan of Hosseini, admiring and enjoying his vivid and beautiful descriptions.  However, I prefer a simpler plot and find some characters (like Adel, Idris) and their stories “distracting” and somehow loosely connected.   Nevertheless, what is different and precisely what I really like about this novel is its strong theme of family relationship and ties.  Among the many touching or enlightening stories, I would like to highlight three and explain what they mean to me:

1.       I don’t know what that means and I don’t want to“ was Masooma’s immediate response to her sister Parwana when the latter tried to confess her wrong doing which left Masooma paralysed.   Instead of grilling Parwana or making Parwana feel guilty and sorry for the wrong doing, Masooma chose to be magnanimous and forgiving.   

That was a powerful and touching act!  Indeed, no one is perfect and everyone does some wrongful acts, big or small, serious or trivial, at some points in life.   Let’s learn to forgive others just as we yearn for forgiveness from those whom we have offended.

2.       You’ve turned out good. You’ve made me proud.  Markos held dearly in his heart, these words said by his mother when he was 55 years old.  Initially Markos questioned if these words came too late as he has waited all his life to hear them but the story ended with a beautiful reconciliation. Since young, Markos’ mother, Odelia, a forbidding-looking widow, a no-nonsense school teacher, did not explicitly express her love for her son. For instance, as they walked to school, Odelia never held his son’s hand, like other mothers did with their kids - she said she had to treat Markos like any other student.  As a result, Markos often felt ‘how ill suited’ he and her mum were for each other.  After he grew up, he chose to avoid his mother by travelling constantly, working in Afghanistan and finally made a visit only after decades of absence.

Like most traditional Chinese family, we do not feel comfortable expressing our love explicitly especially to members of our family.  I learn that feeling love, grateful or proud of family members and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.   I’m glad over the past few years, our family have improved on this aspect.  I hope we could do even better.  Let’s show love all around us.

3.       Thalia was daughter of Odelia’s good friend.   When Thalia was five, a dog bit her. The unfortunate accident and the blotched surgery thereafter left her face severely disfigured.  When Thalia was in her early teens, her mother left her temporarily in Odelia’s care but did not return in the end.  Odelia understood her friend’s predicament and willingly cared for Thalia.  Odelia even helped Thalia get rid of her face mask to face the world bravely. On the other hand, Thalia took her ill-fated life in her stride and made full use of her talents to help others.  Gradually, Thalia became an important part of Odelia’s and Markos’ life.

I’m particularly touched by Odelia’s unconditional love.  She accepted and loved Thalia for who and what she was.   I’m equally inspired by Thalia’s courage to live her life fully and meaningfully despite her own misfortune. She even declined Markos’ offer to fix her face. “This is who I am.” she said. What a powerful statement of self-assurance! Let’s all love ourselves for who we are!

Mum, Dad, sisters, brothers, sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law, hubby, nephew and nieces, please forgive me for those times when I lost my patience, said hurtful words or when I didn’t care as much as I should have. Thanks for loving me for who and what I am.   I love all of you dearly!  You are the joy of my life and the happiness of my heart!    Thank you for your love! 

May peace and happiness be with you always! 

Your daughter, sister, wife and aunt

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Angels of a Lower Flight by Susie Scott Krabacher

Angels of a Lower Flight by Susie Scott Krabacher

An extraordinary true story of an ex-Playboy centrefold model who drew strength, courage, wisdom and faith from her own suffering and life experience to help the abandoned, underprivileged and marginalised children in the chaotic, corrupted, war-torn Haiti which lies just 500 miles from Florida.
Read more at http://www.enewscourier.com/x1037410308/Athens-native-Susie-Scott-Krabacher-ex-Playmate-rescues-Haitian-orphans

A story to remind us how suffering may have a purpose; how suffering might make a person stronger and how suffering could possibly make the world a better and loving place.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupery


The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupery     What is essential is invisible to the eye.”

A book for children but comes with thought-provoking parable of the adult world.  E.g.

Grown-ups are strange like the king who attaches considerable importance to his authority being respected; are odd like the conceited individual who wants everyone to admire him; are really very odd like the drunkard who drinks to forget his shame of drinking; are extraordinary like the serious businessman who counts and stores his possession; are not ridiculous like the lamplighter who is not only concerned with himself.

 “Men crowd into express trains without knowing what they are looking for. So they become agitated and rush around in circles.  Only children know what they are looking for. They dote on a rag doll and it becomes very important to them, and if it is taken away from them, they cry…”

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves and it is rather tedious for children to have to explain things to them time and again.”

“Grown-ups love figures. When you talk to them about a new friend, they never ask questions about essential matters. They never say to you: ‘What does his voice sound like? What games does he prefer?....’  They ask you: ‘How old is he? How many brothers does he have?....’ It is only then that they feel they know him.” 

A rose on The Little Prince’s planet has ‘tamed’ The Prince. She tormented him with her demanding beauty – so much so that he became confused and ran away from her!  Doesn’t that resemble life where some people are completely bewitched by another’s beauty – so much as that he/she is willing to do everything and anything just to please the other and also he/she takes words of no importance seriously and becomes very unhappy.

Read it, think about it and admire the cute illustrations too!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

A great book!  While A Thousand Splendid Suns is about two women, The Kite Runner is about two men and son/father relationship. I find the latter is not so much a tearjerker as the former. In Afghanistan, man is granted ‘position of power’ all because he ‘had won at the genetic lottery’ that determined his sex.  Despite the win, Amir, the main character in the book was subjected to ‘a cycle of lies, betrayals and secrets’ till the age of 38.  The book talks about courage – courage to speak the truth, courage to live with the truth, courage to face one’s desolation & courage to atone one’s past wrong.

Detailed book review can be found http://www.examiner.com/review/book-review-of-the-kite-runner-by-khaled-hosseini and many other websites. 
Some other points I noted/observed:

Kite tournament is a popular activity among boys in Afghanistan. String is coated with broken glass to cut the string of other kites. The winner is the last kite flying. The other winning is to possess the last kite that is being cut. Kite Runner runs after cut kite.
Like India’s caste system, Afghanistan’s upper class (Pashtun) discriminates against the lower class (Hazara).  It seems Afghanistan people gossip a lot and are prone to exaggeration.

If one makes a promise to a child, he/she better keeps it, else….