Four Agreements
The Four Agreements – by Don Miguel Ruiz 3 June 2006
A practical guide to personal freedom!
Domestication
Human being is domesticated (like dog, cat) from young – we learn how to live, what is right, what is wrong etc – the belief that becomes BOOK OF LAWS in which we JUDGE ourselves and sometimes become VICTIM of guilt. The JUDGE, the VICTIM and the BOOK OF LAWS that make us abuse ourselves! And the limit of our self-abuse is exactly the limit that we will tolerate from someone else. If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person. But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate endlessly. The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse.
We live by agreements. Break those agreements that are fear-based and claim your personal power.
Make FOUR AGREEMENTS with yourself to create a new dream – personal dream of heaven.
1. Be impeccable with your word
Speak with love – kind words for yourself and others. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Impeccability of the word will also give you immunity from anyone putting a negative spell on you.
2. Don’t take anything personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
You take it personally because you agree with whatever was said. As soon as you agree, the poison goes through you, and you are trapped in the dream of hell.
When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts.
3. Don’t make assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstanding, sadness and drama.
The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth.
Making assumptions in our relationships is really asking for problems. Often we make the assumption that our partners know what we think and that we don’t have to say what we want. We assume they are going to do what we want, because they know us so well. If they don’t do what we assume they should do, we feel so hurt and say, “You should have known.”
We also make assumptions about ourselves, and this creates a lot of inner conflict.
4. Always do your best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment – it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply DO YOUR BEST, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
When you do your best you learn to accept yourself.
Doing your best really doesn’t feel like work because you enjoy whatever you are doing.
The first three agreements will only work if you do your best. Don’t expect that you will always be able to be impeccable with your word. Your routine habits are too strong and firmly rooted in your mind. But you can do your best. Don’t expect that you will never take anything personally; just do your best. Don’t expect that you will never make another assumption, but you can certainly do your best.
A practical guide to personal freedom!
Domestication
Human being is domesticated (like dog, cat) from young – we learn how to live, what is right, what is wrong etc – the belief that becomes BOOK OF LAWS in which we JUDGE ourselves and sometimes become VICTIM of guilt. The JUDGE, the VICTIM and the BOOK OF LAWS that make us abuse ourselves! And the limit of our self-abuse is exactly the limit that we will tolerate from someone else. If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person. But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate endlessly. The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse.
We live by agreements. Break those agreements that are fear-based and claim your personal power.
Make FOUR AGREEMENTS with yourself to create a new dream – personal dream of heaven.
1. Be impeccable with your word
Speak with love – kind words for yourself and others. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Impeccability of the word will also give you immunity from anyone putting a negative spell on you.
2. Don’t take anything personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
You take it personally because you agree with whatever was said. As soon as you agree, the poison goes through you, and you are trapped in the dream of hell.
When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts.
3. Don’t make assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstanding, sadness and drama.
The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth.
Making assumptions in our relationships is really asking for problems. Often we make the assumption that our partners know what we think and that we don’t have to say what we want. We assume they are going to do what we want, because they know us so well. If they don’t do what we assume they should do, we feel so hurt and say, “You should have known.”
We also make assumptions about ourselves, and this creates a lot of inner conflict.
4. Always do your best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment – it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply DO YOUR BEST, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
When you do your best you learn to accept yourself.
Doing your best really doesn’t feel like work because you enjoy whatever you are doing.
The first three agreements will only work if you do your best. Don’t expect that you will always be able to be impeccable with your word. Your routine habits are too strong and firmly rooted in your mind. But you can do your best. Don’t expect that you will never take anything personally; just do your best. Don’t expect that you will never make another assumption, but you can certainly do your best.
posted by Mae at 11:18 PM
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